When I clicked into my blog today to start going through the sites I visited I noticed that my posts were gone which must mean it’s been a while since I’ve updated.

Things have been going well. Spring is here. It’s cold and damp today, but that’s part of spring too–real spring. We did some more yard work yesterday and picked up some heirloom tomato and bean plants for our garden. We have a little bit of work to do on the bed before we can put them in, but we’ll get to that this week. The herbs we planted a few weeks ago are doing well, save the oregnao that was killed by frost. :o(

The hostas the tenant planted are growing, but they’re coming out in favor of things *I* love instead and we’ve been shopping for trees and bushes to put in as well.

We have a busy week ahead of us. On tuesday Emily goes to the allergist again. We need to get our ducks in a row for school and decided itt would just be easier to go to a new allergist here.

On Weds. we have our ultrasound. Hooray! Jr. is kicking like crazy, which is indeed a blessing. I should be able to return the doppler soon too, because baby is making its presence known.

On Friday Emily heads back to the doc. for some boosters and a check up and Jack-Dog needs a trip to the vet.

I finished sewing Emily’s curtains last week. I’ll get in with the camera and share pictures soon. They actually look pretty good. I’ve been doing a little (very little )scrapbooking too. I need to try and get some work done.

Otherwise, we’ve been busy, but not in a bad way.

We have been having some growing pains with Emily. The neighbor girl is having trouble getting along with her and is saying a lot of mean/hurtful things to Emily several times a week. Emily, though fiesty, really is a gentle soul and due to her associations with adults and less time witht peers, she’s just not used to game playing or meanness or dishonesty. It’s very hard on all of us. We’ve debated talking to the girl’s parents, but aren’t sure that it will actually do any good.

For now, I’m going to run interference. Keeping Emily busy and away from bad influences in hope that neighbor girl loses interest in our sweetie.

1. I hate bathroom cleaning. It sucks. Big time. I put it off until the bathrooms are moving close to disgusting and then piss and moan about how long it takes to clean the mess. If you couldn’t tell I’m in the middle of bathroom cleaning.
2. But I’m listening to Eminem telling everyone to Fuck off, so I feel a little better. I won’t tell anyone to Fuck off so I live vicariously through people who will.
3. Which reminds me that I should put Limp Bizkit’s Break Stuff on my play list too because that song always makes me feel a little better. Rhapsody lists them as Rapcore
4. Over the last several days I’ve thrown more than two bags of garbage away out of Emily’s room (including empty albuterol vials which leads me to believe she heisted the bag that Eric and I knew we had here and drained them somewhere which caused quite a crisis last week when she was sick and couldn’t breath).
5. I uphold my statements that Emily’s nothing but a magpie as thus far, in her room, I have found 1 spatula, all of my scrapbooking ribbon, my qtip holder (empty of q-tips), one baby bootie that I’m saving for Future Child (knit from some of my favorite sock yarn), a Christmas tree (small size, but still) a bowl, my dress (yes, I only own one) and last week ERic found ALL of our blank checks from the bank.
6. Today is 420 which is apparently National Pot Smoking Day. Eric and I watched Harold and Kumar go to White Castle the other night. It was funny. I heard it was dumb, but we laughed a good deal. Of course, we like really low brow, naked people, pot smoking humor so take that as you will (Huge fan of Kevin Smith movies).
   

Whenever I have some leftover wool or wool blends I knit them in catnip Rats mice. I knit ‘em, seam ‘em, stuff ‘em and sit around watching the cats get high. I’ve had several small balls left of wool or wool blends (they’re yarn snobs too, they don’t care for acrylic at all) sitting around and have been thinking about knitting some new Rats mice with them. Emily heisted 3/4 of my bag of fiberfill, but I have enough around here to stuff a few goodies for the dope fiends Cats.

My pattern is pretty simple. Cast on some number (something even is better) onto some needles using some yarn. I like a tighter weave so the herbs don’t leak out so today I did worsted weight yarn on size 3’s. Then, I knit for some rows and then start decreasing to turn it into a triangle shape. I then sew up the tip (to make a nose), add some yarn for whiskers (so I can be offended if anyone asks what it is), stuff it and then seam up the back. They’re not that cute, but the cats prefer them to any store bought toy at this point of the game and the darn things last forever and since they’re large size, don’t get lost as easily as the teeny tiny cat nip mice we buy from the store.

Right now, Angus and SHelby are fighting over the one new toy. Shelby knocked it behind the entertainment center (she rolled around on the DVD player for a while) and Angus is trying to retrieve it. Bell had already snagged it in two spots (I gave her first go) and is no sleeping off the buzz in a sunny spot. :o)

When I was pregnant with Emily, I spent a lot of time at babycenter. I mean a LOT of time. I was nice to talk with other moms. To read what they were going through and to share what I was going through.

So, with this pregnancy, I headed right over to the September 2006 birth clubs to join in again, but it turns out, I can’t handle babycenter anymore.

Why?

I don’t know. First off, I get the impression that I’m smarter than a good portion of the people who post there and that just stops being fun and it turns out that I don’t want to deal with people’s thinnly veiled agendas anymore.

And, I got to say, I’m tired of the whining, complaining and paranoia.

“Why don’t *I* get an eight week ultrasounds. Everyyone else does.”

“My dates are screwed up and I have three different due dates and the baby is measuring at least a week small, but I’m irritated becuase I don’t know the gender for sure!”

“I’m leaking fluid. Should I go to the ER?”

Oy.

Look, man, early ultrasounds aren’t everything. I’d have given my teeth to have not dealt with at least two of mine. Be happy that you have a normal pregnancy.

Maybe you should be more concerned about your baby’s growth than whether or not you can tell what the gender is.

Maybe getting a dozen HCG draws isn’t a bad thing, you know? It means they suspect you’re going to be okay and you don’t HAVE to worry about doubling numbers and placement and all of that garbage.

I noticed, during our time TTC, that there were a ton of obsessive women out there, obsessing over everything. Women witth normal first time pregnancies freaking outt and demanding courses of HCG tests for no other reason than they wanted one. People in tears because their OB doesn’t do eight week transvaginal ultrasounds and everyone else gets one. People obssessing over every tiny twinge (my left pinky toe hurts. Do you think I’m pg? I’m only two days post ovulatoin, but my left pinky toe NEVER hurts).

I think there is great support for women needing help. Not just those suffering from infertilityt, but those needing help just with the normal process. I’m a totall fan of NFP. I think it’s great, but it can be confusing and some women need help. I thtink early help is great for those who need it and sometimes you need someone to commiserate with and to ask questions to, but honestly, this peeing on a pregnancy test at 3 days post ovulation and whining about what early, invasive tests you weren’t “lucky” enough to get is too much for me.

Just. Be. Happy. Be happy that your doctor has no reason to suspect that you’re pregnancy isn’t going well. Be happy about that. Be happy that you don’t have a reason to be turned into a pin cushion for the first two weeks of your pregnancy. The hysteria that accompanys conception and pregnancy is nearly too much to bear and i’m a type A person (so that says a freaking lot coming from me).

I wish women would calm down some and spend less of their pregnancy disappointed about who got what and more time focused on the good things that are happening to THEM. It’s sad.

I realized, as a new mother, that I wished Emily’s babyhood away. Seriously, I did. I was too worried about what other babies were doing and whether or not Emily was okay that I spent no time ust focusing on how sweet and speical she was then and see these women doing this with their pregnancies. They spend so much time wrapped in a cloak of paranoia that they’re not enjoying the process. They simpley cannot be. I want to grab them by the shoulders and ell them to just be glad. It’s enough.

About a year and a half ago I bought myself a Nikon N75. I wanted to step up my photography without the price of a DSLR (it would have meant a longer wait). Since buying my camera, I havev gotten some reasonable photographs.

I’m proud of my results. I’m glad I’ve gotten some good shots. Really am and I’m proud that the work you see is all SOOC(aka Straight Out Of Camera). Complettely unedited and unphotoshopped. What I saw at the time appears there. I like that my eye is developing and I’m forced to do it right the first time.

But, it’s time to do it better. To get more consistent results. Before baby arrives. While I have time and patience and energy to practice. So, I’m thinking we’ll run to borders tonight and pick up a few books to help me on the way. It’s time to figure out what exactly my camera can do, not just the litlte bit I’ve been able to puzzle out on my own.

If you don’t even have a website, why are you spamming? It makes no sense. You left 20 some comments directing people to your website, which you don’t even have. You made a critical error though and GoDaddy knows about you. Other people don’t like you either. You’re an asshat.

EMily is sick today. It started as a tiny sore throat on Friday night and today has morphed into a fever bearing, runny nose, congested, wheezy somthing or other. We’ve been lucky with EMily. She’s only really been sick once all year, this being the second time, which for her is some feat. I’m exhasuted, but sweet pea is finally sleeping and hopefully wakes up feeling better on the other side.

Naturally today is the most beautiful day of the year and Emily’s tucked in under the duvet in my bedroom, the covers up to her chin like it’s mid winter again. I’ve opened a couple of blinds and cracked a couple of windows.

…you know. I generally beleive people are good. Silver linings behind every cloud, that sort of stuff. I get tunnel vision sometimes, only seeing what I want to see instead of what is really there in front of me. I think it’s something a good portion of us are probably guilty of.

I visit a Debate Forum and the past few days we’ve been talking about Interracial adoption. Naturally, my pollyanna complex has me all up in arms as we discuss the availability of white babies vs the availability of African American babies. I bury my head and refusee to see inequality. SHhouldn’t someone who wants a baby want ANY baby? Why can’ they just adopt an African American baby. Is it that hard?

Apparently, it is. In doing a search for some information for my discussion, I happened upon this Salon.com article ( Part One Part Two) and I am shocked.

Period.

That not only do white couples not want dark skinned babies (forget just African American babies, latino babies or Asian American babies too) and those ethnic groups don’t really want their babies adopted by wholly white couples. I don’t even know what to say.

You see, my tunnel vision has painted me a picture of racial harmony. Oh, on the fringes I think problems exist. People are still raist and still trying to keep a brother down, that sort of thing, but I beleive (see Pollyanna) that things are better. That who raises you doesn’t matter as long as they love you and why shouldn’t a child fit into the community where it was raised.

As I was reading he first part of the article, my stomach hurt. Eric and I had discussed adoption in the past, but I felt compelled to help one of these less wanted children, children that there is nothing wrong with save for their race, gender or age. We could do it in a couple of years. It would be far less expensive than the International Adoption we were considering.

But in the second part of the article, they speak about how bad of a fit Interracial adoption can be. How isolated the children are. How they’re accepted no where. How their suicide rate is higher than the general population. How even a happy Interracial adoptee claims her loving white family would have been her third choice, behind her biological family or an adoptive black family.

It’s frightening and frustrating that so much of a divide remains that a child raised outside of its race cannot be comofrtable anywhere. How can that be fixed? Will it ever be fixed? Is it actually getting worse?

I’m back to cooking. I was watching Rachel Ray last night on Food Network and got inspired by her Chiptole Chashew Chicken. I printed off some recipes and started cooking like crazy. Two great dinners later (Thanks Rachel!) and I feel like I’m back into the swing of things, even if every knife we own is dirty.

I was surprised after googling to see if Ray had a website to read an article that comments on the bad press she gets from other food purists. Link here. I know 30 minute meals doesn’t necessarily make haute cuisine, but you can also cook the meals out of what’s in your cupboard and a quick trip to the grocery store where you can get out for less than $20.

I don’t mind cooking, in fact I like it, but I don’t labor under the illusion that I can actually cook some of the fancy ass stuff oher chefs feature in a reasonable amount of time on a weeknight. And, who wants to. After school and housecleaning, laundry and errands, I don’t want to devote two hours to dinner. I want to have i on the table, eat and have the dishwasher loaded inside an hour. We have too much to do to cook like that every weeknight. Don’t most people?

So, I made the Chipole Chicken (minus the cashews, just in case) with wilted spinache and it was SO GOOD. And easy. And it wasn’t super expensive and I felt tlike I could make the stuff again and we’d all love it.

But a fun one. We went out on Friday night, had a great dinner at Pappadeaux (dear me do I love Pappadeaux) and went out to a bar for a while (obviously I was the DD) and hung out with Kim and John and didn’t get home until 3 a.m. (!). We were up early for an OB appt. had raquetball at 2, played until 4 and had Carrie’s baby shower the next morning.

I was glad it was monday today so I could recover a bit.

My nausea is finally fading some. I’m still a little gaggy, but haven’t thrown up in more than a week now. I’m feeling the little one move around and thanks to the doppler rental, can check on him/her daily. Emily loves to hear the baby’s heartbeat and askes several times a day to do it. She’s excited, drawing little pictures and writing notes that say “I love my baby”. :o)

We declined the level 2 ultrasound and our regular old ultrasound is scheduled for May 3rd. Emily will come with us to sneak a peek of her new brother or sister and hopefully we’ll be able to find out the gender at that time so we can begin planning and begin to think of the baby as that particular child. It’s hard to believe that by the end of this year we’ll be a family of four and have multiple children. Eric and I were talking about it this weekend and it really seems surreal. I suppose the idea of won’t really seem real until we bring #2 home and have to actually parent multiple children. What a change.