Stolen from Jen Lessinger’s blog. Thanks for the idea…

Ten things I do everyday:

1. Read to Emily

2. Eat dinner

3. Surf the Internet

4. Smooch Eric.

5. Let the dog out (and in and out and in and out and in and out)

6. Go to the grocery store (well, maybe not every day, but it FEELS like it)

7. Wish for just five more minutes under the covers.

8. Shower

9. Tell Emily, In a minute

10. Pet cats

Nine favorite shows of all time:

1. The Amazing Race-any season

2. Extreme Makeover Home Edition

3. The Price is Right :o)

4. Sex and the City

5. House Hunters

6. $40 a day

7. Brady Bunch

8. Family Ties

9. Quantum Leap

Eight junk food favorites:

1. French Fries

2. Nacho (cheese? Put it back!)

3. Doritos

4. Chocolate chip cookies

5. Frozen custard (chocolate and vanilla twist)

6. Cherry Coke

7. Pizza

8. Egg rolls

Seven things that bug me:
1. Rude Drivers on Cell Phones

2. Stupid parents

3. Combative patrons

4. Messy tables

5. Dog drool on any part of my body

6. Having my feet attacked by the cats with claws when I’m only trying to sleep

7. Being in a rush

Six songs I love this minute:

1. Banana Pancakes-Jack Johnson

2. Telephone-Shelby Lynn

3. Are You Gonna Be My Girl-Jet

4. Better Together -Jack Johnson (I’m really feeling Jack Johnson these days)

5. You get what you give-New Radicals

6. I Love Chocolate Milk

Five things I want:
1. Emily to have a fabulous school year

2. Eric’s business to take off like gang busters

3. For my mom to be healthy

4. A HOUSE! (and that the one in IL is finished up with quickly)

5. To have this diet finally be the one that is successful

Four facts about me:

1. I speak pig latin fluently

2. I get very OCD about stuff.

3. I’m a cat person. Sorry Jack.

4. I won’t own a mini-van

Three wishes:

1. For my family (all of them) to be happy and healthy always

2. A long, long , long marriage to my sweetheart

3. Peace On Earth

Two people I wish I could see again:

1. Ma

2. A few friends I’ve wandered away from that I miss.

One thing I

Myself, but still….

Like a lot of other people, I fall into the “how much can I really manage to do” trap. I believe in this elusive perfection in regards to how I care for my home and my child and my spouse and myself. I set goals for myself that aren’t really attainable. That are difficult. I latch onto them like a rabid dog and hold on, even though my footing is slipping quicker, the more I struggle.

I cried the entire way to work on Tuesday. I’m afraid I’m not going to be as available for my peanut. Or for Eric. Or for Mom. My paltry 14 hours a week, while fun, are one of the few avaiable stressors I can remove from my life. Can’t ditch school. Can’t get Eric a new job. Can’t hire a magic house fairy to clean the house. Can’t cure Mom. Gotta deal with what hand I’ve got, but I have been thinking about what things I can give up on. Sadly, work is at the top of the list (or not so sadly, I guess).

I don’t need to work. My paycheck (minus what it costs us in gas and lunches) is for saving purposes only. It amounts to about less than 6k over the next 8 months. Actually less than 5k. It means it’s going to take us a couple of more months to meet our goals. We won’t be ready for final purchase of a house in May. It’ll be more like July or August. We’ll struggle a bit to hit our marks this year, but we’ll make them. The money isn’t worth it, as Eric has so wisely put, so my resignation letter is written and signed (in duplicate) and i’ll be done on 9/11. (actually, 9/9).

And I’m okay with that because I need to be there. I’ll be doing work for Eric. He will match my current rate. It will reduce his stress, which is so worth it.

So, in just over two weeks, I go back to being a full time at home mom. I have MISSED it.

of 1999 I met my partner. Not Eric, although he is my partner in a million different ways.

No, in 1999 I began my walk with my constant companion–Emily. Sure, she was only a zygote, but from the moment the second line turned up on my pregnancy test, I was never alone.

In 2000 she was born. A beautiful pink baby. My memories of her during those days are enveloped in a rosy haze.

Since then, from her zygote stage, until now, she’s been my girl. My partner in everything. My companion. I silently thanked God when she started talking so I could stop having one sided conversations and while they’re not always great conversations or overly intellectual, they’re always amusing and I can always count on them.

I never have to go anywhere alone, which is sometimes a bad thing (I like to be in the bathroom alone namely to shower and to wipe in peace) but more than often, isn’t. I always have someone to babble to in stores and while I wait in traffic. There;s always someone to be silly with and, as Emily’s grown older, to talk about girlie things with (Isn’t THAT pretty! I like the BLUE one!) I never get bored waiting at the bank or McDonald’s. A long check line isn’t a big deal. I have someone to talk to. Someone who will play Time Passing Games, like I spy and count that thing, with. Someone who doesn’t mind if I sing along or make up my own songs.

My partner starts school next week. I realized today as we drove home from an afternoon of school shopping, that the Emily and mom forays would be decreasing in number. Yes, I know they won’t stop and we’ll always have the summer, but once school starts, there we be fuller impulsive trips. Fewer Time Passing Games. Fewer songs to be sung. Fewer hands to hold. Less time with a wonderful deflector for my natural shyness–my partner. A constant conversation piece.

I try not to bring this up to the partner very much. She’s so very excited about her new endeavor. She’s so excited to be going to school and doing grown up things. She loves the adventure and the challenge a new school year brings. I loved it too, as a child. I don’t want to focus on the fact that I already miss her, because I want her to be thrilled and overjoyed. I’m fighting the urge to lock her into a closet. I’ve even seriously considered homeschooling, just so I didn’t have to send her away from me. Overall, that’s a selfish idea because I don’t want to home school her for a myriad of reasons that have nothing to do with her being gone five days a week now, for at least a portion of the day. No, I keep it to myself. I tell the partner that I’ll miss her while she’s gone. She says she’ll miss me too, but she’ll give me a kissing hand (and I’ll give her one too) so we won’t be alone.

It’s been six years since I had to figure out what to do with myself without my partner. I’m afraid of the evolution taking place. Right now, I’m my partner’s favorite partner (Dad comes in second). She likes to play with me and talk with me and be with me. I know that once she starts school her focus, which was so tight and precise (and honed in on home and her dad and me) will begin to widen-encompassing different people and ideas and places. I don’t like that idea one bit.

So, I buy school clothes and backpacks. New shoes and socks. I explain, several times, that nightgowns aren’t necessary for school. I wish that this last week will play by in slow motion, but I already know that it won’t. I know it will fly like the wind because I wish it won’t.

I love Emily to infinity and beyond.

She loves me to Uranus.

:o)

edited to add: Obviously we went shopping today. Typically, I hate k-mart clothes. They’re not cute, look dated, etc, etc etc. I avoid them at all costs (but they’re great for cheap, name brand underwear, t-shirts, etc). Anyhow, we hit Target today and come away with practially nothing I like. Three shirts and a skirt. Hit meijer. Find one dress. Hit K-mart. Why didn’t we start there. Plenty of cute clothes at good prices. Who knows if they’ll last. I only want them to make it to June. I’m sure they will. Is the partnership with sears producing better merchandise?

I would like to say that I didn’t do one damn thing. I didn’t read any books, I didn’t knit any stitches. I took about a hundred pictures and just let myself do NOTHING. It rocked!

Here’s a teaser from the batch of pictures I’m hoping will turn into our Christmas card photos this year….

. It was a SMIDGE sunny, but I think the setting was good and I made sure to keep the light to the side. Here’s hoping.

I would also like to take this time to speak to wannabe photographers…..

Dear Friends,

As the prices for good digital cameras decline, many of us with a little bit of talent and a little bit of interest, decide to start taking our pwn pictures. Our new digi cameras turn out professional results and why not save the sitting fees?

On Sunday, I witnessed something that I cannot let go without comment.

It’s about 8:30. Eric, Emily and I are camped out along the breakwater in Petoskey. We’re over looking the Pier as the sun sets. It’s beautiful. I admit it. Behind us a woman, toting a very nice digi. camera hops out of hear SUV dragging a teen aged boy behind her (I’m thinking Sr. Pictures). She’s decided, apparently (or he has) that she wants to capture the setting sun as a lovely backdrop behind her teen. She gets him settled on a rock (facing the sun, natch) and starts shooting. With the flash on.

Okay. Whatever. Maybe the setting sun doesn’t cast enough light (and even my little Coolpix 2200 is smart enough not to turn it’s own flash on) but whatever. She drags teen back into the car and they take off down the road.

I turn towards the pier,jutting out into the bay. The sun a glowing ball of pink fire. People are on the Pier, taking in the sight. It’s beautiful. They’re taking pictures.

How do I know? Because their flashes are going off.

That’s right, they’re taking FLASH pictures of the SUN. A GLOWING FIREBALL MILLIONS OF MILES AWAY. The Coolpix says “Dude, what the hell”. It’s flash is off. I’m shooting using the “sunset” mode. Apparently Nikon doesn’t think you NEED flash to take a picture of a sunset (I agree). We walk back towards the car.

Senior picture mom is taking pictures. Of son/sun. With the flash!

Oy.

The moral is–if you buy a good camera, you should read a photography book, particularly if you want to use your own stuff in lieu of a professionals (which I am all for and do myself). However, without some time, care, thought and consideration, you’re pictures will just look like you cheaped out. Really.

I had this vision a while ago, of taking pictures in Emily dressed in a simple white linen sun dress with a blue sash. I bought the material and planned.

Today I decided that on the Beach in northern MI would be the perfect place for these pictures. The lighting would be awesome, etc and so on.

I go to Joann’s to pick up an easier pattern for the dress making. I decide that not only do I not know if I have all of the pieces to the pattern I already have here, but that it may be a hair too complicated to complete quickly.

So, pick up the pattern. (A whole 2.99! Whoo HOO!). Get home. Pull pattern out of bag. Unfold first sheet. Realize I bought the wrong size pattern. Curse. Return to Joann’s. Purchase the right size pattern. Get home. Cut out right size pattern. Get all of the work done.

Pull out the roll of ribbon I bougt. Realize it’s friggin paper ribbon!!!! ARGH! Decide just to baste the ribbon on to keep it for now (aka pictures in less than a week.) and that I’ll replace it afterwards.

Sewing the damn ribbon isn’t working out so well. I can’t get it on straight. I’m not sure if it’s the type of ribbon or just the way I’m going about it, but the effect isn’t what I want. I think it will turn out okay for pictures and then I’ll rip it off, but ARGH!

I knitted a while on the potato chip scarf today and I think my gauge is too tight because it doesn’t appear to be as floofy as the pictures show. Which is irritating, but I’m not giving up yet. The twist is a nice yarn and I love the hand of it , but it splits SO EASILY that I’m not sure I’d like ot work with it at any other time.

Otherwise, my mom scans came back and we’ve found out the tumor has returned (not that tumor is less important than knitting or sewing, it’s not). I’m not sure what to think right now. She meets with a new Oncologist soon (within a week) and we’ll see what he has to say. I told her today that it’s best to be positive but that she’s entitled to a day to be down about the results (even if they weren’t a surprise to her). I’m taking that advice as well…

Rock

• Donating unused items to people who can make use of them. I dropped off a box of books lingering in our garage to the library tonight for the Friends’ book sale and a bag of stuffed animals for a battered woman shelter (for the children of the women, not the women themselves).
• Getting This gem for twenty five cents at aforementioned book sale. Yesh!
• Chris Osgood is playing goal in Detroit again, just as a side note

  Suck

  • This has been boethering me for a while. I was in Meijer a week ago and there was an article about famous men dumping their beautiful wives. Jude Law (and the woman he cheated with) has been in the headlines and several papers have chided him for choosing such an unattractive woman to cheat with.

    And you know, I wondered what it is about the media that makes them think that beautiful women must make good wives. I don’t get it.

    I mena, adultry is WRONG. Flat out WRONG. The biggest no-no. I won’t even go off on that tangent. BUt what makes the media think (and what gives them the rent to represent) that a beautiful wife is the only wife worth having. I mean, sure, you can be married to the most beautiful, accomplished woman ever and that doesn’t mean she’s a good person or a good wife.

    Why aren’t less attractive women good enough? I know a lot of women who aren’t conventionally beauitful who make damn fine wives. I hate the emphasis put on beauty and how Jude Law she be embarassed, not just becuase he chated, but becuase he cheated on his BEAUTIFUL wife with a less than stellar Nanny.

    Maybe his beautiful wife sucked (again, no excuse, but hopefully you get what I’m saying).

  I’m working on the potato chip scarf. I’m up to just about 700 stitches (give or take) on the needles now. I’m nearly done with the last increase row, which means just a straight knit row and a cast off. I’m afraid that the tension is too tight on it as the scarf isn’t very floofy. I am using the yarn specified and the size needle specified, so we’ll see. I think I’ll be able to get three scarves out of my stash.

  I almost caved and bought yarn tonight, but right now I’m working on working through my stash. All of them. My fabric, my books, my yarn, my scrapbooking supplies. The whole shootin’ match. my library check out list is 10. Whoo hoo! And, two or three of those things don’t belong to me. I’m proud of myself.

I finished up all of the acrylic dk/sport/baby (I can never tell the difference) booties on Sunday. I had hoped to make a pair for my “wishful thinking” box, but instead pulled out what was left of my Magic Stripes Regatta and knitting up a pair of that AND managed to use up what was left of yarn. Hooray.

In doing some pattern research, I realized that I just HAPPENED to have two skeins of Berrocco twist laying around and decided to make a couple of potato chip scarves. I figured I could keep them or pass them along as gifts as they look pretty cool. I picked up a pair of size 8 circs and brought the twist to bed to knit on tonight. I’m thinking that I’ll finish that up this week and bring the second skien along for vacation knitting (as well as a lonely skien of sugar and cream that I’ve earmarked for dish clothes).

In other news, I went to Joann’s today in hopes of picking up material for MY room, but came home with material for Emily’s. We’re going to do a “princess” room for her as 1) she’s not really into lady bugs anymore 2) the quilt is falling apart and 3) I want to. :o) I bought a gorgeous purple satinesque material with embroidery and beads for her curtains and some shimmery purple sheer for sheers. Also some pretty embroidered purple for a pillow or two. I have no idea when I’ll get to this. I really thought about making up that white linen sun dress for beach pictures this coming week, but I’m not sure I’ll make it at this point. I think I have a good day of sewing ahead of me which I could accomplish Weds. if I could get my act together. We’ll see.

I had such big plans for this summer, but nada. Typical, isn’t it?

I found my scan disk reader shoved under my desk when I was cleaning my room on Friday. Hooray!

However, it turns out the problem isn’t with my camera cord but with the compuker. I, of course, don’t have one bad thing to say about the poor compuker. It’s five years old and runs ME. We’ve talked about buying a new one, but besides making sure my picture files are backed up, I don’t really care. It runs everything I want it to, though this USB problem my be the end of it. We’ll have to see.

So, here’s the Lovely Lilac Baby Sweater….

I’m so excited about sending this out. I have to make a priority to get it in the mall by Friday.

And. here are the charity booties. I am sewing the last pair up tonight, adding them to a sweet little pink pair I have saved and sending them out.

I have a little bit of the yarn used left (sport weight on size 3) that I will use to make a pair of booties for Em, per her request and one for me for the “wishful thinking” box. :o)

I am in the process of planning our vacation. Fill you in soon.

Well, not really. ;o)

My USB wire for my camera isn’t working. I can’t find my SD reader. A little research at Radio Shack has proved I can replace it for $20, which is what I will do once I make time for it. Until then, no new pictures. :o(

But maybe i can make time tomorrow, so sorrow over.

I’m currently knitting baby booties for charity. I needed a simple, easy to complete project that would quickly give good satisfaction. I’ve knitted two pairs since last night. I spent the weekend working on branching out and it’s just NOT happening

At firsts, I thouht it was the needles I picked. The pattern called for a size 7, but the yarn I was using was a pretty fine gauge so I downsized to a five. Size five’s didn’t cut it. Gauge WAY too small, pattern smooshed, not to mentioin difficult to work.

Stopped at store. Bought size 7’s. Had horrible time with pattern and even though I was knitting on the correct size needles, pattern didn’t show.

Came home, upgraded to a 9 just to test with poor results.

So, now, I’m thinking that the fuzzy baby alpaca I’m using is my main problem and I’m going to have to do some research as to whether or not I want to buy a new yarn to test it or if I want to call it quits on this one for now. I have some cotton yarn here that would be fine for testing purposes. The alpaca is lovely, but it splits easy and is really fuzzy and just flat out hard to work with.

So, the booties are soothing. Easy garther stitch and ribbing on size 3’s with sport weight yarn (that I needed to use up anyhow).

I am going to do a quick search for a hat pattern to match so I can send off a little hat to match the booties.

I didn’t get much done today. I had to accompany Mom to the hospital for a test and it took much longer than both of us though. I’m looking forward to my day off tomorrow.