I feel guilty not including the pictures I took of the kid’s head, but I wanted to show off what was on her feet. They’re funky and out there. Like Emily. They’re a bit too funky for me, but I’m wearing them anyhow.

Mine match hers, by the way, though her strips are a bit wider than mine.

She loves them.

Before moving onto the baby gift, I think I’ll be undertaking the repair of my purse. It should take less than an hour and would make such a big difference and then I SWEAR I’m off to the baby gift.

I have decided that next week, I’m going to carry my camera all week. From morning until bedtime. In my pocked or in my purse. I then plan to turnt he best pictures of the week into a 6×6 album. I’m not sure what the title/theme will be. I’ll probably alternate carrying my small digital camera and the bigger Nikon. My photography is something I definatley want to work on and I have two cameras (one good, one REALLY good) to help me with it. I just have to get to work. I think carrying the camera all week may help me. No apologies. It’s going everywhere.

In other news, I have a birthday card to make and four mother’s day gifts to make and I’m suddenly realizing that I might not get that far.

Time’s a wasting.

I leave you with my list of what’s playing on Rhapsody Right now–

1)You Get What You Give-New Radicals
2) Banana Pancakes-Jack Johnson
3) Are You Gonna Be My Girl-Jet
4) Switch-Will Smith
5)Fall to Pieces-Velvet Revolver
6)Smack my Bitch Up-Prodigy
7)Telephone-Shelby Lynn 10 Rocks-Shelby Lynn
9)Buttons and Bows-Shelby Lynn
10) Suds in the Bucket-Sara Evans
11) Hey Ya-OUtkast
12)Heaven-Los Lonely Boys
13) Nookie-Limp Bizkit
14) Lady-Lenny Kravitz
15) Senorita-Justin Timberlake
16) Flagpole SItta-Harvey Danger
17) Save a Horse, Ride a Cowboy-Big and Rich
18)Crazy in Love-Beyonce
19) E-Pro-Beck
20) She’s Crafty-Beastie Boys

Have a great Saturday.

that I can offically cross the Lion Brand jlly bean yarn off of my yarn list. I’m just about done with Emily’s sock and what will be left won’t be worth keeping. If I were more motivated, I’d finish it up tonight, but it’ll be done quickly tomorrow. I wish I had enough yarn left to make her socks out of the regatta blue stripe. It’s so pretty, but, alast, her stompers are too big.

I’m thinking of knitting a pair of small socks and saving them for one day. A girl can hope, right?

I helped out at Em’s preschool, again, today. Oy. The kids are so wound up right now. I don’t know if they sense the end of the year or what. Screaming and running and not listening. The good news is, it’s a small group. The bad news is, 12 kids can sound like 12 dozen.

In other news, we spent $400 at the vet today. Hope the dog feels better quick though. It’s a comedy of errors for him right now, poor thing. He’s on antiobiotics, which he takes well, if you glob them into peanut butter. The special food he’s on for two weeks looked so horrible coming out of the can that Eric gagged. THe dog feels similarly. He keeps looking at his bowl and sighing. Suddenly, kibbel must seem awfully good.

He has crystals in his urine, btw. Hopefully he won’t have any lasting problems. Oh. And ear ick that means holding him down to shoot drops into them twice a day, which he hates. He’s strong.

I’m a sahm. For the most part. I have been one, for the most part, for six years now. I quit my job in Late spring/early summer 1999 and became a wife and a mother. I have had forrays into the working world–part time gigs– but most, I stay a home and care for my home and family as my one and only job.

And I love it.

But some days……..some days

At times, staying at home feels like groundhogs day. How many times can we pick this toy up off of the floor? How many times a day does the kitchen need cleaned? How many times a day……the constancy of staying at home is the worst part.

Well, mostly the constancy of the work load. My biggest struggle since I started staying at home is the fact that success is often, intangible or what defines it changes. Balance is hard. I’m always sturggling to find it, but it’s so flipping elusive.

In Other News

• I broke down and bought a t-square today. A nother frigging layout crooked. And I loved this one too (until I saw the crooked part). I’ve had enough.I can’t get it straight on my own without the t-square, so hopefully this will helpe me out. I was so proud of my PP use too.
• I’m not knitting and that’s all I have to say about that. I think it’s a looming deadline and then I go into avoidance mode
• I have two dresses worth of material washed and ready to pin, cut and sew. I’m not doing that either. I find that when I get on a craft tagent, I just gotta go with it. At least that’s my excuse
• Listened to Jack Johnson’s new album on Rhapsody today. It’s great. :o)

We celebrated Canada. We went to Tim Hortons for coffee and doughnuts and listened to Barenaked Ladies while we did.

If we were only watching the Stanley Cup Playoffs.

I cleaned up the blog a bit. I was tired of Bazzil mono green. It was time for something new, so I turned it white and used my lovely ribbon as a banner. Tha ribbon is hanging over my scrapdesk and it’s so inviting. It’s calling me now, but once I finish this for the night, I’m into bed.

It’s been a long day. The site we took over two months ago is giving us more grief. Seems we can’t make anyone happy any of the time.

Well, that’s probably not true. Maybe two people are happy.

I know it’s growing pains and changing pains and learning pains, but it’s not making life easier. People are mad at us and neither of us handle that well for different reasons. Me–because I’m a hose beast and Eric because he tries so damn hard to be fair all of the time that he hates the implication that he’s not.

We’ll get by. Ch-ch-changes.

Wednesday Confessions

• I started this entry three times. I was trying to access our communities web page to see what sort of children’s programming they’d be having there this summer. IT crashed my compuker three times. Needless to so, won’t be doing that again.
• I watch QVC to go to sleep. SInce the loss of the pregnancy I have a case of “loud brain” which bascially means my thoughts race and become so “loud’ they keep me awake. I have found that QVC is bland hours of people talking and talking about nothing I care to listen to
• I’m tired of preschool. The year end cattiness is starting to fire up. I don’t know that it’s typical. It’s just happening and I hate it. I don’t like being pitted becuase I’m a nice person and I just don’t care, really. As long as Emily is happy. I never want to be one of those moms who forget the it’s about the Children. Never. Ever
• Had to call the dance place back about Emily’s dance classes. I hate when people don’t call me back.

Confession over.

I’ve been thinking of two things the last couple of days.

#1-Coming to terms with the Ectopic PRegnancy. I don’t know what to call it. I didn’t have a miscarriage. I didn’t lose it-per se-I gave consent permission to have it removed. It wasn’t an accident or a surprise (well, after the first hour). It’s an odd thing. To refer to an Ectopic Pregnancy each time I want to discuss it doesn’t feel right either. I’ve been making vauge references to “The Pregnancy” and people seem to get it, but that’s not working out right either.

I feel like it should have a name or a title. Something that it was that makes me feel comfortable. Maybe when I can put a name to it that makes me feel okay, I’ll be fully moved on the next step

#2-I was reading another blog yesterday and the author talked about filling her home with things she loved to look at and I was struck. Why don’t I do this more often. I’m so visually drawn to things, but will settle on any old thing in a pinch. I resolve to do that less and buy things that look pretty and make us feel happier to see them more.

Lastly, I’ve been thinking of starting a new project. Just for a week. I’m thinking of actually carrying my camera all week long. Just to see what pictures I’d take that I’d normally miss. I think it would be an interesting experiment.

We’ve all found ourselves to be speechless about it. It’s slated to snow until tomorrow when it will turn to rain and the whole world will turn into a sloppy, muddy mess. We had been enjoying the return to the outside the last few weeks, but 80 degrees in April isn’t made to last and so it hasn’t.

That’s okay. Ever the optimist, I know the snow won’t last, but that certainly doesn’t stop me from being tired of it. It’s even too wet to play in.

But that’s okay too.

Emily spent the weekend with my parents, which gave Eric and I some much needed quiet time. We’ve both been overwhelmed lately. I stayed up late both nights scrapbooking and got five pages (3 layouts ) finished. 1 layout I love, 1 is okay and 1 is disappointing as i worked on it for a long time and it turned out wrong. I’m considering having the pictures reprinted, removing the parts that took so long and starting over as I’m just unsatisified with it. As I’m sitting here, I’mactually formulating a thought, so all isn’t lost.

I may even be able to salvage the pictures. Good news.

In other news, am I the only one awed by some people’s ability to literally do everything? What do I waste my time on. When I received my copy of Creating Keepsakes Hall of Fame issue this year, I was struck that one woman was a doctor and two more had families of 5+ children. I’m sitting here thinking:

1) I don’t work
2) I have one child
3) I have a tiny house that takes no time to keep up if I choose to make it so
4) I have no outstanding social or relgious obligations.

So why don’t *I* ever get anything done? Do they sleep a lot less than me? If so, I’ll never improve because sleep is NECESSARY, my friends. Are they wired different? I’m thinking so.

the older I get, the more I like things from my childhood. A while back I discovered a Nintendo Emulator for the computer and have been spending some time playing old Nintendo games. It’s fun.

However, I don’t have mad skills anymore. I can hardly get past word one on any Mario game. My brother thinks it’s probably harder to play with the keyboard and maybe he’s right, but I think my hand eye coordination is starting to go to pot.

It’s still fun though.

I finished my jelly bean socks too. Hooray! That’s within the last week. I’ll have to wash ‘em up and take some pictures of them. I’m not at work on a baby gift for a friend, however, I’m thinking I’m going to have to take some time and repair Sueet. I did mention that that Urchin cut the strap with scissors. Why did she do that?

She doesnt’ know.

It’s such a perfect summer purse and I hate not carrying it. It’s the perfect size for my stuff, so I may need to take an evening away from the baby gift and just do the repair job.

Hmmm…..was doing some web surfing while writing this entry and came across this little lovely at Mag Knits…

Isn’t it precious? The perfect gift for a baby girl. Along with the little cap…..

In purple? Just lovely.

I need to update my upcoming project logs too….and my yarn used log…

I had a growing pile of mending waiting for me yesterday. I decided on Monday that I would finish it up yesterday, so I pulled out the sewing machine and did so. I have two things left to finish. One–a pillow that had a tear in an odd spot and while I fixed most of it had to leave some room open for stuffing and now need a needle and thread (which I actually do not own) to finish the job. Two–Eric’s khaki pants. I bought him a pair at Christmas time and there’s a big old hole right above the cuff. I was hoping I could just pull it together and make a quick repair as it’s the back of this cuff and not very noticeable, but in the end it will have to have both cuffs ripped out, the pants trimmed and both legs re cuffed and hemmed.

I’m thinking that job would be better done by a better sewer than I.

I also managed to scrapbook some…

I have so many albums I want to finish up and am not sure how to even start. I’ve been working on a rotation–two from this album, two from this album, etc, etc but I just don’t seem to be getting anywhere.

I’m watching American Hot Rod on Discovery. IT’s a mess. Those people argue constantly. I can’t stand it.

Well, I’m not ACTUALLY watching it. It’s just on. I’m updating blogs. I should be in bed.

But, someone’s anniversary is coming up and I managed to finish a project. Since March 17th (which is when I got the positive pregnancy test and got to start worrying about the bleeding) I’ve been totally out of sorts. I just can’t do anything. I can’t get interested in anything. I can’t keep focus on anything. I’m just restless. Nothing is interesting. Nothing holds my interest.

In 2005, I thought I had mono. It turns out, I was just bored (give yourself bonus points if you can name the movie ;o) )

I cleared off my scrapdesk the other day and managed to get a project done today. Hooray! Someone’s anniversary is coming and I mdae them a little paper bag album/card.

I’m still restless, but at least I’m getting something done…

2005, as of yet, has not been very prolific for me. I had grand plans of sewing, knititng, scrapbooking and reading like crazy. None of that has happened yet.

BUT I did get two pairs of socks finished. :o)

Here are the Magic Stripes Regatta Colorway socks. This is knit with Wendy’s short row wrapped heel (featured in Knitty) and a wrapped heel. I love how easily the socks work up when done in this pattern. I did have a bit of a trouble getting the right cast off at the cuff though and it took some ripping and experimentation.

AND, here are the Sassy Stripe socks.

I love these socks. I get great compliments on them and they’re SO SOFT. I know they’re acrylic, but they’re wonderful. Washing well and feel great on.

I’m in progress on another pair of Magic Stripe toe up socks (in jelly bean). I do have a small fit problem with the regatta stripe. THey’re just a LITTLE big. I cast on fewer stitches for the jelly bean ones and will knit them smaller than what I anticipate needing. I’m thinking fit wise, a little strech would be better than the excess.

But, sock making is probably always an exercise in experimentation until you get the perfect fit.

And, yes, I am measuring. Like crazy. But knitting them to exactly fit my feet isn’t working. I tend to walk funny in my socks and rotate them and must stretch them when I do so.

As mentioned, I’ll be finishing the last pair of socks.

Happily, Knitty is new for spring. HOORAY! I was just checking earlier this week and was sad that we were still on winter patterns.

Lots of pretty goodies over there to think about making.

I have one ball of alpaca left over from winter knitting that never got knitted and branching out may be a perfect choice for it. I also love cecilia, via diagonale, cocktail monkey (though I would skip the monkeys ;o) ). I also like Soleli and W, but W, sadly, isn’t in my size.

We’ve had a rough month again. Just when I think things are evening out for us personally something else comes up.

Eric and I have been trying to get pregnant. We tried one month we no success. On March 17th I got a positive pregnancy test and it’s been non-stop since then. I spotted from day one and went to the doctor about it a couple of times and I just never got any better.

On Monday I started having a lot of pain and we were off to the hospital. After many hours I was diagnosed as having an ectopic pregnancy and was rushed to surgery. The pregnancy and my fallopian tube were removed Monday.

I’m not even fully sure what I think about the entire thing. I’m not as sad about the loss of the pregnancy as I thought I would be as it was just incompatible with life–the baby’s and my own. THe recovery is okay, but I’m moody and sad and worried about the future.