We’ve all been sick, on and off, for the last couple of weeks. Eric and I had another tandem cold and several days later, Emily had a runny nose and a cough. Last Tuesday she missed her field trip because of not feeling well and Wednesday Cadence developed a runny nose.

On Thursday Eric didn’t feel good and on Saturday Emily had a fever and general malaise.

Cadence hasn’t slept well for several nights at this point in the game and come last night, I was exhausted. I feed Cadence while Emily is in the shower and she passes out. Eric moves her into her crib an even though I’m not QUITE ready, I climb into bed myself. I can’t get comfortable and toss and turn until Cadence waes up around 10:30.

I get up and move her into our bed and THAT is where the fun begins. I settle her onto my chest to get her to sleep and then lay her down. She starts to fuss and I can’t settle her down. Decide to feed her. Check the time–1 a.m. Cadence has been sleeping for six hours at a pop, so I’m a bit surprised she’s up. Feed her until she seems to be done and settle back down next to her, only to have her start fussing shortly thereafter.

Settle her back onto my chest, where she tosses and turns and fusses. I pat and shoosh an jiggle and she falls asleep, but wakes quite a bit to toss, turn and fuss some more, clocking me in the chin about 4 dozen times. At four a.m I can no longer convince her to sleep. Eric offers to take over. I nurse Cadence. Again. And settle into some fitfull sleep.

At 6 a.m., about the itme, I’m sure, that Eric walked out of the door, Cadence is done sleeping again and starts to fuss and toss and turn. Back onto the chest she goes and she continues to fuss, toss, turn and headbutt until Eric gives me my 7:15 wake up call.

So, I’m tired. REALLY tired.

Emily announces she didn’t sleep well and wants to stay home. I’m not convinced and tell her as much. Fifteen minutes later, I ask her to go get dressed so we can come down and get breakfast. She’s crying. I ask what hte problem is and she indicates her ear hurts. I’m not convinced.

Get up to go to the bathroom, realize Cadence’s diaper has leaked through her sleepr and onto the last clean pair of pajama pants. I go to the bathroom and feel Emily’s forehead. She’s warm. Pop in the thermometer and she’s running a slight fever, giving merit to her ear complaints. I change myself and Cadence and come dwonstairs to, once again, nurse little miss, only to be boppe din the chin about five more times during burping.

Emily is blissfully quiet right no and it’s time to call the doctor. Cadence is sleeping in her swing. Eric is considering coming home to spell me. The house is trashed. the dog refused to go out this morning and it took much gnashing of teeth to get him to go and it’s cold.

So….how’s your day?

I had a long morning this morning. I’m sick. And Tired. Both. Literally. I caught Eric’s stupid cold and even though today was the day HE started feeling better (counting from when he got sick) I still feel like crap. Cadence woke up exactly 30 minutes before the alarm went off for her first breakfast and I couldn’t keep my eyes open.

I managed to get Emily off to school without issue and settled into my morning with Cadence. When 10:15 rolled around, she seemed sleepy, which is in keeping with her now normal nap time and I sat down to rock her, expecting to be able tog et some chores down while she rested.

She was having zero part of that.

So, we went upstairs t laydown, thinking if I could’t do chores I could nap. NO thanks, said Cadence. I was hungry and tired and decided that I was going out for lunch, to the local sandwich place for a panini and a glass of lemonade. I put Cadence in her swing so I could flip flop some laundry and finish tidying up the living room and she slowly dissolved into….hysterics.

She wouldn’t be shushed or rocked or calmed, so I did what I normally do–I nursed her until she passed out. But that’s not the point of this entry.

I’m sitting in the chair, dressed to go. Cadence is dressed to go and I wonder just how long it will be until, in a fit of multi-tasking, I run out of the house with one breast flopping out of my bra and my shirt hitched up to my neck. Hopefully never, but knowing me (the girl of different socks, two different shoes and backwards or inside out shirts) I’m not counting on never.

Thankfully, on the way t the sandwhich shop for the aforemetioned panini and lemonade, Cadence fell aslep, tolerated being trasferred onto her normal daily sleeping spot (aka the couch) and has been sleeping now for nearly two hours. her napping has goten longer and more preditible, for which I am VERY glad. I’ve managed to get some chores and laundry done and goof off and Cadence will wake up soon, a happy camper.

Cadence is sleeping beside me, snuggled inside of her boppy. She didn’t sleep at all last night and I am exhausted. For lunch yesterday, I had a frozen Chimi that contained less than 2% of tomato paste, but that was enough to send Cadence into gastrointestinal distress starting at 2:30 a.m. and stretching on unil 4:30 a.m. or so when Eric finally gave up, got up, thawed some milk and took over.

He also went into work late so I could sleep and he could get Em on the bus, buying me four hours of very good sleep. Which were very much needed.

See, I discover that on the weekend, I manage to catch up on my sleep a litle bit. Eric gets up with Emily meaning if Cadence manages to still be asleep at that time, I an still sleep too. Saturday i feel good. Sunday I feel normal. Monday, I feel good.

Tuesday, my weekend sleep glut (of probably 8 hours a night total instead of six) begins to fade away and I’m doing okay, but feeling ragged.

On Weds. morning, Emily kindly points out the bags under my eyes. I manage o get the bare minimum amount of housework done.

On Thursday afternoon, Eric points out that I look exhausted. i only managed to make the bed.

By Friday, lack of sleep and just the general stress of running a household and keeping up with two vastly different girls has worn me down to the point that even looking for the remote or climbing the steps with Cadie to go back to bed seems like too great of a task to complete at the time, so I sit on the couch in silence.

Oddly enough, dealing wih Emily has been the most difficult over the past few weeks. She hasn’t regressed and her behavior is no better or worse than it is usually, I just don’t have the enerrgy or patience for her normal bologna. It seems she spends large protions of her time at home crying huge tears and gasping sobs over the most mundane and trivial things. Things she certainly did before, but now seem to pound on my few remaining, intact nerves like jackhammers.

It’s difficult for me to no totally lose my mind over the whining and crying. A few years ago, Eric and I read “The Five People You Meet in Heaven” by Mitch Album. In the book there was a passage about children being panes of glass that their parents would shatter. I think Eric and I both agreed to not shatter. Fingerprint heavily, but not shatter and it’s with this idea that I struggle when dealing with Emily’s constant fussing. I understand that she’s sensitive and I don’t want to break that. If that’s who she is, i want her to be it, but at some point, at nearly seven years old, shouldn’t she cry LESS than she did at three or two?

Or five weeks?

Today, Emily and I slept in and made jewlery crafts. You’d think it would be easy making a lei out of straws and beads, but it wasn’t. The damn straws kept popping off of the beads and then I cut the damn string too short and turned it into a crown.

Thankfully, it looks much cuter than it did as a necklace.

In other news, issues continue with the kids next door. Yesterday, Emily was playing with Miss Five, the girl from two houses down. She and Emily get along SO WELL. She waited with Eric and I for Emily to get off the bus and she Emily went ino the back yard to play. Emily took out her play kitchen and they had a big collection of stuff in Emily’s little screen tent.

At some point, Emilys dvertisment for the circus coming to town blew into the neighbor’s yard. Miss First Grade picked it up and said something to the effect that she had lost hers and found another. Emily explained it was hers and thte girl said too bad and took off into the house.

Emily, very sensitive about her possessions came inside in tears and Eric and I were torn.

On the one hand, it was windy out and this was a piece of paper smaller than a dollar bill. In addition, it was JUST a piece of paper. Part of me wanted to tell Emily not to worry about a piece of unimportant paper, but on the other hand, she told Miss First Grade that the paper belonged to her and Miss First Grade took off with it.

We consoled Emily. Explained we didn’t need it to go to the circus if we were going to go, etc, etc. It was difficult because, as stated, I don’t believe you should keep things that aren’t yours, no matter how small they are and particularly if someone else tells you that it belongs to them.

So, Emily heads back outside. Miss Five is playing with Miss First Grade and Miss Possible Instigator. Emily goes over to play, assuming she’s invited as Miss Five is playing over there now. Miss First Grade tells Emily to get out of her yard.

More tears ensue.

Daddy goes over to talk to the neighbor.

Neighbor says girl she babysits for, aka Miss Possible Instigator is the problem. and Miss First Grade has to apologize. I’m less certain that it’s Miss Possible Instigator and more learning towards Miss First Grade.

Last week, Thursday, Eric and I talked outside with Mrs. Neighbor while we were cleaning up the mess left here by Flippy Tits (aka Miss Creepy Eye aka the Hillbilly Tenant). Emily has a very nice, fairly new two wheeled bike that she’s been trying to learn to ride. It’s a nice bike. I forget what size it is, but it falls in between the two tradiational sizes for younger children’s bikes. Miss First Grade is riding a bike too small for her and while Eric and I are both ishy about other people riding Emily’s bike, we allowed Miss First Grade to ride while we were standing, talking with her mom.

On Friday, we had appointments and had to leave as soon as Emily got off the bus. Miss First Grade runs into our yard and askes to ride Emily’s bike.

Not if Emily can play or what Emily is doing or even if they can play bikes. She asks to ride Emily’s much nicer, much bigger, much newer bike.

Hmmmm.

Miss First Grade is also more agressive with Emily and I highly doubt Miss Possible Instigaor is the actaul problem. Miss First Grade seems like she could be a bully.

And so, we move into summer, feeling like nothing at all is resolved with Miss First Grade and rather worried that Miss Possible Instigator won’t be the playmate of choice, leaving Emily there.

Emily, for her part, doesn’t want to play with Miss First Grade anymore, which, in my opinion (and Eric’s too) is the best possible outcome. Emily makes the decision and enforces it herself. It’s the kind of logical progression we like to see out of her.

Someone treats you like shit once, be confused.
Someone treats you like shit twice, get upset.
Someone treats you like shit again, fuck ‘em.

Well, minus the swear words, of course, though I did have a dream last night that Emily was irritated about something and muttering “shit” under her breath. Wouldn’t put it past her for a second. When she was just over a year old, she was trying to walk up the slight hill in Eric’s mom’s front yard. She fell down and said, clear as day “God Dammit”. Used perfectly, of course.