It started simply.  Yesterday morning I woke up with a cough.  Just a cough. I had a full day and we had cleaned in our bedroom Sunday night and I though the dust we stirred up (which was substantial, I’m sorry to say) had aggravated my allergies.  I complained to Eric about how cleaning never comes to any good and went on with my day. 

Yeah, I had a cough, but I felt it was just allergy related until in the afternoon when I carried Cadence up to bed and my joints were stiff.

Shit.

Flu.

I refused that diagnosis.  Chatted for a while with Eric and began to notice that I was feeling feverish. Burning eyes and body chills.  Not the flu.  Not the flu.

Eric gets home from school with Emily.  I check my temperature and find that, yes, I do have a fever. I go to bed.  Emily is now complaining of chills and such, but she has no fever and both Eric and I think that she’s sad about her lack of personal attention.  Meanwhile, I’m in agony.  If I don’t cough, my chest and back ache, if I do cough my head pounds.  I doze on and off in a fever induced stupor and at 7pm my fever is up to 101.5. Yikes!  I take a shower and some motrin and settle in for the night.

Emily wakes up in the morning with a fever in excess of 102.  So, I guess maybe she wasn’t trying to eek out some extra personal attention.  I had a fever in excess of 102, too, so we were a matched pair.  My best deduction with the fever and aches and chills is the flu, but here’s the kicker, Emily got a flu shot!

Now, I obviously understand that flu shot isn’t fool proof.  Our best hope is that we’ve reduced Emily’s odds of contracting certain strains of the flu, but here she is, every bit as sick as flu shotless me and she also had to suffer the unhappiness of getting jabbed by a needle in hopes of preventing exactly this.  But, she’s got it as sure as I do and this afternoon her temperature rose to 103, meaning she wins the award.  Mine seems to be tapering off after a bit of the sweats this afternoon and I just noticed that Emily is living outside of her covers indicating a round of the sweats might be coming to her as well.

Not to get too deep, but the ineffectiveness of vacation is one issue at the head of the vaccinating vs non-vaccinating debate.   Chicken pox, for instnace, used to be a mild childhood disease, categorized by a fever for a day or two and some itchy scabs for another few days. I had the children pox myself in 1983 (followed by a case of pink eye which was frankly far more irritating than the chicken pox were).  My brother and sister got the chicken pox as well (Jake after me in 1983 and Jolene in 1993 though hers were compounded with a staph infection which is a whole ‘nother can of worms….or pox).  The current chicken pox vaccination doesn’t actually STOP you from getting the disease.  It reduces your CHANCES of getting the disease and looks to make the disease MILDER if you DO get it.  There are also arguements that those of us with immunity because of having the disease may now be more at risk for shingles because of no longer being exposed to the disease to keep our immunity current.

That’s a big digression and the debates about the effectiveness or reasons for vaccinations rage over the internet.  Just google it.   You won’t be disappointed and even on mild mannered, unrelated Internet community the announcement of ones personal policy towards or against vaccination can cause pages of debate and bad feelings.

So, taking all of that and Emily’s flu, would I vaccinate her (and me) against the flu next year?  I’m thinking yes, but I can see how this experience could turn people away from regular injections to try and keep the flu at bay.  In the past eight years no one in our house has gotten the flu vaccine and no one has had the flu.  This year, not only do we have the flu, but the one person who received the vax has the flu herself.

We’ve all been sick, on and off, for the last couple of weeks. Eric and I had another tandem cold and several days later, Emily had a runny nose and a cough. Last Tuesday she missed her field trip because of not feeling well and Wednesday Cadence developed a runny nose.

On Thursday Eric didn’t feel good and on Saturday Emily had a fever and general malaise.

Cadence hasn’t slept well for several nights at this point in the game and come last night, I was exhausted. I feed Cadence while Emily is in the shower and she passes out. Eric moves her into her crib an even though I’m not QUITE ready, I climb into bed myself. I can’t get comfortable and toss and turn until Cadence waes up around 10:30.

I get up and move her into our bed and THAT is where the fun begins. I settle her onto my chest to get her to sleep and then lay her down. She starts to fuss and I can’t settle her down. Decide to feed her. Check the time–1 a.m. Cadence has been sleeping for six hours at a pop, so I’m a bit surprised she’s up. Feed her until she seems to be done and settle back down next to her, only to have her start fussing shortly thereafter.

Settle her back onto my chest, where she tosses and turns and fusses. I pat and shoosh an jiggle and she falls asleep, but wakes quite a bit to toss, turn and fuss some more, clocking me in the chin about 4 dozen times. At four a.m I can no longer convince her to sleep. Eric offers to take over. I nurse Cadence. Again. And settle into some fitfull sleep.

At 6 a.m., about the itme, I’m sure, that Eric walked out of the door, Cadence is done sleeping again and starts to fuss and toss and turn. Back onto the chest she goes and she continues to fuss, toss, turn and headbutt until Eric gives me my 7:15 wake up call.

So, I’m tired. REALLY tired.

Emily announces she didn’t sleep well and wants to stay home. I’m not convinced and tell her as much. Fifteen minutes later, I ask her to go get dressed so we can come down and get breakfast. She’s crying. I ask what hte problem is and she indicates her ear hurts. I’m not convinced.

Get up to go to the bathroom, realize Cadence’s diaper has leaked through her sleepr and onto the last clean pair of pajama pants. I go to the bathroom and feel Emily’s forehead. She’s warm. Pop in the thermometer and she’s running a slight fever, giving merit to her ear complaints. I change myself and Cadence and come dwonstairs to, once again, nurse little miss, only to be boppe din the chin about five more times during burping.

Emily is blissfully quiet right no and it’s time to call the doctor. Cadence is sleeping in her swing. Eric is considering coming home to spell me. The house is trashed. the dog refused to go out this morning and it took much gnashing of teeth to get him to go and it’s cold.

So….how’s your day?

In two days, you shall be no more. I for one, will not personally be sorry to see you depart. I’m looking forward to little baby new year, dpey hat and all.

Frankly, 2005, you’ve been sort of a bitch. In retrospect, this has been the toughest year we’ve passed in our history. Shall we recap?

1) Mom’s tumor reoccurs in Jan. prompting another surgery
2) Our paycheck bounces in Febuary starting a year’s worth of money and pay woes
3) Our tenant defaults on our agreement on the house in Lakemoor and goes 30 days late on the mortgage causing us to claim the house back and become landlords, something we never wanted to do
4) Find out we’re pregnant on St. Patty’s day, only to lose the baby in emergency surgery weeks later that took part of my reproductive system as well
5) Mom’s tumor comes back again–more chemo, new doctors, more worries
6)Eric has to look for a job
7) Emily breaks her arm Eric takes a job in Illinois and is gone the bulk of the week
9) I decide I’ve been bored and end up with anxiety disorder and probably a host of other things
10) Christmas came and went, but my spirit never arrived

So, 2005, as you can see, those tings, personally, coupled with hurricanes, wars and rising gas prices makes me more than happy to bid you adieu.

Oh yeah, and we had to cancel our Disney trip too.

That’s number 11.

So, please, hurry off. Normally I mourn the passing of the years. It means my baby grows up and my parents grow older and times slips further through my fingers, but this year, slip away, man, I’ve had enough of you. So take the bad ju-ju or whatever the heck else you rained down on our heads and go head to where you go.

To 2006: We look forward to you with hope for healing and health and friends and family.

Happy New Year to all.

Tonight, I dish.

The idea that we will be moving back to Illinois seems to becoming clearer and clearer as time passes. The only thing we