Fact or Fiction: Opposite sex platonic friendship



By Eric ~ August 16th, 2008. Filed under: Uncategorized.

I was discussing a friend’s situation on a message board, and found the conversation coming back to that age old classic: Men and women can’t just be friends. Especially in the case of an ex, apparently, it would just be too hard to  be friends with (or allow your spouse to be friends with) someone with intimate knowledge of you or your spouse.

Now, I’m not entirely sure that I understand that. I can see the fact that obviously you can’t use the standard dismissal that there’s nothing there, because at least at one time, there was. But the fact of the matter is that you’re ostensibly happily married. If the marriage isn’t a happy one, that’s a whole ‘nother can o’ worms.

So, if you’re happily married, would YOU have difficulty managing to keep a relationship with your ex in its current context? As a general rule, there’s a reason they’re your “ex”, right? I struggle to accept the premise that one would be willing to change the context of the current relationship (both with your spouse and your ex), to increase the emotional investment in someone from the past.

But, yet, most people would have no problem with a same sex friend of 20 years ago knocking on the door and opening up a door to that relationship again. So, is it REALLY the fact that some people just don’t believe that men and women can be friends? Does sexuality REALLY dominate the definition of our interpersonal relationships?

Simply fear? Irrational fear? If you use it to try to terminate the contact between your spouse and their ex, does it become UNREASONABLE fear?

103 Responses to Fact or Fiction: Opposite sex platonic friendship

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